Friday, March 21, 2008

Trying to make a baby

Ok so we have started trying...we are not taking any chances and this month we used the Ov tests and behaved like little rabbits when we got the green light..or is that the pink stripes. But I sit here with my damm period and try and psych myself up for the next chance. I just sooo want a baby, of course I want Noah thats the baby I want and I think about him all the time BUT since that is impossible I must try and make another little treasure. I am just so scared that I am just not going to ever get that baby in my arms.

I never wanted to focus on it like this...I just wanted to see what happened..go off the pill and see. But now after 2 miscarriages and Noah, I am 37 and I am now mildly obsessed...now it seems I have to "follow through" and get that baby.

I just thought it would be oh so easier....

7 comments:

c. said...

I can understand the sense of challenge and desperation. I feel it, too.

Wishing you a speedy + EPT. I'm so sorry it didn't happen this month.

Amy said...

I understand that need and want too. I just can't bring myself to even consider TTC yet.

I agree with C., on all counts.
I will be wishing for you!

CLC said...

I get it. I am already obsessed with it and I haven't even started trying yet. But I think about it just about every second of the day.
I hope you get positive test results soon. I will cross my fingers for you.

Tash said...

I'm not remotely obsessed; I really must be a man. However, I can understand your position and I'd love to say the hardest part is just the decision to move forward. But we all know it's not. wishing you nothing but the best.

G said...

Man, it is so hard not to focus on it, isn't it? It feels like the more you try *not* to focus, the more it creeps in and smacks you upside the head.

Sorry hun :(

Heidi said...

I can't begin to imagine. (((hugs)) and positive thoughts!!

k@lakly said...

Thinking of you as you ttc...but not really as you ttc exactly cuz you know that's creepy...just that it happens for you asap, i know the process sucks!