Friday, September 26, 2008

Happy one minute - sobbing the next

Well we saw our little one a few hours ago and they were very pleased with bub. Anatomy results were all excellent and in general it all appears really positive. One healthy little baby. Except for this placenta which is low lying or partially crossing my cervix. I have not had a doctor appointment with this scan, just saw a radiographer who takes his/her findings to the clinics doctor who writes a report which is sent to your ob or midwife or whoever you use. So what started as some concern as we left the scan has slowly escalated. I have managed to shriek at my husband and he has fled to his friends house for awhile with L in tow, I then have wandered around the house crying and wailing like I have not for quite a while. My god I am so scared, I know that the majority of placentas move up as the uterus expands but what if mine doesn't. I must say the hysterics, some frantic book reading and then some Dr Google has helped somewhat and brought me back to earth. Almost always this condition rectifies itself. But I have been on the shit end of the odds before. GRRRRR... I just want to catch a break!! Is that too MUCH TO ASK. I just feel so ANGRY. I want to smash things but then I would have to sweep them up and replace them DUR!!!

I know that even with L the placenta was low at the 20 week scan and yet had moved up by late pregnancy so I could and did push her out. I don't even remember being really concerned about it, in fact had forgotten it totally until I read my pregnancy journal that I wrote for her.

But hey thats back when I was an innocent schmuck. Now I am just a frightened, vulnerable fuckin nutcase. And it all involves just WAITING. Waiting to get pregnant, waiting for the baby to be born, waiting to recover from your goddam D and C's or from the horror of stillbirth, waiting to not feel so shit, waiting to recover, waiting to conceive again, waiting for your period. I am SO tired today of waiting.. and yet thats what I am going to have to do.

I just hope more than anything the wait is worth it...


CLC said...

You are right about the waiting. It's tiresome already.
I am sorry you got so freaked out. Try to hold on to the thought that most of the time it self-corrects. Try to let go of the worry. Glad bub looked good otherwise.

Coggy said...

You and me both with the scans today. Thanks for dropping my blog in my absence and checking in.

As for low lying placenta try not to worry. It often moves upwards through pregnancy and even if it doesn't they can just give you a c-section. I know that's not the perfect solution but as long as the baby is born happy and screaming it doesn't matter.

I know a number of women who have had low lying placenta and all were fine. If you're really worried ring your OB and just have a chat about it I'm sure they will reassure you. Just try and focus and the good stuff in the scan!!! Your bub looks good ;o)

c. said...

Just wanted to stop by and let you know I'm thinking of you. Hope that placenta migrates upward soon.

k@lakly said...

I am with the nut gallery. Most of them move up during the pg and if not then you go with a section. Either way, it should not harm the baby at all. Try not to worry about it too much, Lord knows we have enough of that already!!!
I know the waiting is awful, I just keep thinking of what Julia told me. Everyday we wait is another day closer to our goal. It helps. Sometimes:)

Cara said...

Waiting sucks. I'm not good at it, even if it's a mundane reason for doing it. I can totally see why you need to panic right now. This has got to be a really rough time of year for you.

Move up placenta...MOVE UP!

Anonymous said...

I hope my comment makes you feel better... I too had placenta previa (full) diagnosed at 16 weeks in 2003. It didn't move up as we hoped (I worked in ultrasound at the time too!)and I was put on semi-restrictive measures, including off work soon after, 20 weeks I think. I was monitored and hospitalized as a precaution at 33 weeks, delivered at 35 weeks. My son delivered via c-section at 6 lb. 15 oz. Maybe not too typical (okay, he was a big baby) but not that unusual either. I know several people who have delivered successful pregnancies, most just a smidge early or full-term. But I know your terror, I really do. Being on the "inside" of ultrasound made it worse too, I think... BUT: Focus on the statistics, they are in your favour. I do understand your fears given your previous losses, and I am so sorry... Talk to other previa moms, including me if you like. I can be reached at

Please rest, stay calm and strong as much as you can. Information is power.

Nilia Palhinha
Brampton, Ontario