Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Still here..

Its amazing that over 6 weeks have passed since I last wrote, although I have never been that prolific now have I. I still have a look every week or so and leave a few comments, but I guess there are two reasons I have not been a regular. 1. That i generally feel better and sometimes reading more sad stories etc sets off the tears and brings me down. and 2. Seemed to be so many pregnancies and while I am genuinely thrilled and excited for this...I can't help feel a bit left out and a bit envious. I want to yell out " don't leave me behind..wait for me..I want to join in on the next stage with you" Especially the women that I consider to be part of 'my group' the ones who lost bubbys within a couple of months of me.
So I am actively trying to make a baby...we did the ovulation tests for 3 months with no success so this month we have just 'gone for it' around the right time and we will wait and see. I also have done 2 sessions of acupuncture and am taking some Chinese herbs. I have even booked in with a fertility specialist in July, not that I think fertility is really my issue. Shit this is pregnancy 6 I am aiming for so I can very much get pregnant..its bringing home the baby that I suck at.

..but cos i am 37 I just want to know I have the IVF intervention back up if I need. Even doing all these things makes me feel proactive and just doing something and for me that helps. Hopefully it will just happen while I am distracted by all this. Fingers crossed and legs open.


CLC said...

I hope your dreams come true. Keep those legs wide open!!

c. said...

Oh, Ange, I know how you feel. I felt this way, too. This is all so very hard.

We lost our boys literally at the same time. And right now I am (barely) pregnant for the 6th time. So strange that we could live a world apart but live such similar lives. I am hoping you won't be far behind with baby news. I have every appendage crossed that that you'll have some news to share sooner than later.

Brooke said...

I know just how you feel. I feel left behind on the baby train.
So many people I know who lost their babies around the same time as me, or just before me, have conceived again.
I am on an enforced 6 month wait.
I feel lost.
My fingers are crossed for you, so hard.

Anonymous said...

Im so sorry you feel so left behind.

I really hope you dont need to go down the road of IVF but i have to say, getting pg doesnt mean you dont need help. There are many fertility reasons that a women can get pg but cant stay pg. progesterone is one of them. many girls I know also find that even though they have had children find that later on their husbands sperm are swimming sideways. Just because sperm was once ok doesnt mean its always going to stay that way. :) I guess what Im saying is that if you really want to get pg again, get checked out. Better to know now rather than leave it a couple of years and then find out its really too late. Make sure no matter what you get your other 1/2s sperm checked. Even if the Dr's dont suggest it, make them test it. I know so many girls who have tried things like Clomid only to find out ages later there was a sperm problem and it was all a waste of money and time.

BUT like i said, hope all comes back ok and its not something you have to do.

you will have to let me know if you are seeing a Dr at QFG or not. Thats where i went.


Angie said...

please e-mail me @ aformaneck@yahoo.com. My name is Angie. My baby passed away from the same as your baby. It's hard to find someone that had the same thing I had.

HUGS to you and your family.

a- said...

Ange, I so hope you get what you want. My fingers are crossed for all of us!

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